Monday, May 30, 2011

Aussie Slang - rated PG-13

I guess I must be getting settled, because I have run out of free time. So this post is a bit disjointed, but hopefully fun.

But I wanted to share some of my latest Aussie slang acquisitions:
Watched a game of Aerial Ping Pong with Old Mates on the Weekend, 
who were definitely Yokels who had their wobbly boots on over a few coldies.
Which translates to:
Watched a game of Australian Rules Football with some friends on 
the weekend who were Yobbo(uncouth person)-Locals who were drunk over
a few Cold Beers.

While taking the tram out on Saturday night I overheard:
Cool your tits mate!
Which seems pretty self explanatory.

And finally, my coffee barista, while explaining that nothing his daughters do fazes him:
I've seen things that would turn your shit white
Which may not be Aussie in origin, but the fact that it was said so boldly by the person serving me coffee certainly is.

I've also been regaled with potty stories by a the staff at the Hertz checkout counter, so clearly they have all read Everybody Poops and are quite comfortable with the topic.

I successfully walked home at 3AM on a Saturday night, in heels no less. So that means:

1. I should have stayed out later
2. My ankle is healed!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Old Mate

I'm learning a lot at work these days, for example:

Did you see old mate? He was heaps drunk last night!

Apparently you can use this term to refer to anything. Especially if you want to avoid speaking someone's name (and it is shorter than "He who shall not be named") or you've just plain forgotten.

I think this is a fabulous way of masking your inability to remember the names or people, and it also works for places and things. As in:

Grab that old mate while you're at it

Why remember the word for "box" when you can just throw "old mate" at the problem?

The word "mate" has sexual connotations where I'm from. It can be used as a verb when speaking about animals expressing their love. As a noun I always used it as a reference to significant others in a clinical way. As in "high maintenance women are good mates for wall street finance hotshots". But in Australia they say "partner" instead since mate is so heavily used in the brotherly-love kind of way.

I ran into a guy at a party that was complaining that there is no good word in the English language for a person who is not your "wife" but is your "long term girlfriend". The term "partner" lacks a gender so in the US that usually implies same-sex relationships. Perhaps we need a new word, or maybe we can just use "old mate"!


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Watch out she's driving on the left

It is a good thing women can multitask better than men. Because this weekend I rented a car and not only did I have to navigate and remember what I was shopping for but now I had to do it on the left side of the road, on the right side of the car, while always using my turn signal and being polite to my fellow drivers. That's a lot to keep track of, and I am proud that I only turned into the right hand lane once. I did however turn on my windshield wipers every time I wanted to turn. Thank the auto engineers they didn't swap the pedals or I might have discovered how car insurance works here.

I am now the proud owner of a Fisher & Paykel refrigerator (made in New Zealand) and a Sealy guest bed (made in Victoria state, Australia). It is neat to be somewhere that still makes stuff. I move into my new apartment on Thursday and should get new carpet and blinds next week.

I took another trip to Sydney last week and sat next to a woman with a baby in her lap. I though I was doomed, but she had the magic touch and he fell right asleep. The flight attendant asked her if she needed anything for the "bug" and I thought that was an odd term for a baby, but kinda cute. Then I was corrected by an Aussie that it was probably "bub"' which is far less cute to me since that conjure images of strangers that you don't want to socialize with. So I'm officially starting a campaign to adopt the term "bug" when referencing a cute baby. I'm quite fascinated by how we end up with all these words for the same thing and I'd like to see if I can be the meme generator in this case.

I also discovered on that trip that you cannot "fly standby" on domestic Australian flights. This is just not done and the agent was appalled that I even asked for such a concession. Meanwhile in the States they have adopted advanced standby handling procedures it is done so often. He then seemed intrigued since he was visiting the States soon and wondered what airlines offered it. Perhaps he will try it and bring back the good idea to the lovely people at Qantas. They have not had a fatal accident since 1951, but that night was one of the fastest/roughest landings I've had in my many years of flying. Still safer than a Yank driving on the left though!

I have been told that "sheila" is a term used by blokes when they are talking about women, but not to them, which explains why I have not been called that by anyone but my American friends.

My favorite word of the moment is "heaps", as in "there are heaps of cafes in Melbourne". People use it heaps! :-)


Sunday, May 15, 2011

IKEA is universal and other fun

Someday when we populate Mars there will be an IKEA with POÄNG chairs priced exactly the same as on Earth.

Yes, I've been to the Melbourne IKEA. And I came away with a basket of essentials that should keep me going in my new kitchen until my shipment from the US arrives at the end of June. Did you know you can buy a 16 piece set of forks, knives and spoons for only $5 AUD (That is $5.50 USD)! I can't buy a meal I'll eat with them for that. The miracles of the modern supply chain in action.

I have successfully navigated the challenges of acquiring a rental apartment here in Melbourne. I escaped with only minor mental scarring after one of the agents cursed me with bad kharma because I didn't call her back immediately upon taking another apartment. Sheesh! I thought people were more laid back here. But I suppose there are always a few bad eggs in any population. Thank goodness I didn't take the apartment with her or I would have been in for a nasty surprise when I asked to get a leaky faucet fixed.

Now that I have the apartment I have to buy a refrigerator, washer and dryer. I have my heart set on a Kelvinator. Yeah, you read that right, like the Governator but for your kitchen. I'm learning that I would like one that has a capacity of 300 to 500 litres. Did you notice the British spelling of that word? This is a company laptop, so it is spell checking in British English. It didn't know the word 'faucet' so I had to teach it.

Here are some Australian/British words I've acquired this week:

  • Base - box spring for mattress

  • Capsicum - bell peppers

  • Shout - promise to buy, as in "I'll shout you the next round"

  • Tipping - they don't tip for service here but they do bet on footy which is called "Footy Tipping"

  • Tick - as in "tick the box" rather than "check the box"

  • Barrack - both the place where military people are housed AND cheering for your team, as in "he barracks for the Eagles"

  • Rocket - a type of lettuce that is usually referred to as arugala in the US and is available for purchase at IKEA in a little pot for only $2.99





I will leave you with this silly image of a store in the Victoria Shopping plaza where the IKEA is located. No, I haven't shopped there...yet.




Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Sydney v. Melbourne

I spent last weekend in Sydney. My first time there so I had to stay in the CBD (Central Business District) which was like being near 5th ave in NYC. It was a lovely fall day the Saturday I was able to wander around. I watched a game of life sized chess in the park and went shopping in Paddington with Jen and her family. Note in the pictures the odd wooden deer/moose heads - one in Sydney, one in Melbourne, viewed 24 hours apart, very odd coincidence and no explanation to date. That Saturday night I walked up to the ticket booth at the Sydney Opera House an hour before the show and got tickets to Much Ado About Nothing. I am in love with the actor who played Benedic, oh, and the opera house was lovely. :-)

On my way to the Melbourne airport the cabie explained to me that Australians are obsessed with the British, although they don't like to admit it. He said their nickname is pomes which stands for "prisoners of mother England", a friendly nickname says Urban Dictionary. I bought a book called The Commonwealth of Thieves by Tom Keneally to learn more about Australia's history and discovered that more prisoners were shipped to the American colonies than Australia before the revolution. The only thing that makes us associate Aussies and criminals is because the first settlers were mostly from London prisons. And from what I read it seems they were a hearty stock to survive the prisons, then the journey and then settling the land. So here's to natural selection for producing very sporty people!

A Sydney cabie then told me that the famous Melbourne dish is Chicken Parmagiana, or Parma for short. The tradition is the put ham on top of the breaded chicken, then mozzarella and then lay it on a bed of fries. Apparently it also comes in "Mexican flavor" with nacho toppings instead. Since I've been back I noticed that most pubs and restaurants have a "Parma night" and I enjoyed one at Leo's Spaghetti Bar in St. Kilda. Clearly this is a delight for the right palate. Truly a rare event for me since that is a bit too much grease and salt for weekly consumption. It even motivated me back to the gym after a week off being sick.

So Sydney was a lovely excursion, especially since a cold front just hit Melbourne and it dropped to 3 degrees last night (that's just a bit above freezing for those of you using Fahrenheit). But I do think I like the more livable, less touristy feel here, even though the Sydney harbor is stunning and I certainly plan to climb it one day. Perhaps in the Spring when the wind doesn't cut through the silly overalls you get to wear.

I am happy to report that I have 2 applications in for apartments. So it looks like I'll have a proper place to live soon. Ta god for that!


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Backwards

My primary fear about coming to Australia was/is getting hit by a car or tram because I looked the wrong direction before crossing the street. My good friends know how much I love to jaywalk, so this is not an idle fear. I recently learned from a poster that a tram weighs as much as 30 rhinoceros, true fact, but that image is not any more terrifying than the large metal machines running down the middle of the streets. So I guess the comparison is lost on me.

And so it is with great care that I cross streets. Rarely jaywalking and always taking that extra moment to consider a head turn to the right before stepping off the curb. So far this has been a successful strategy. Wish me luck as I get more comfortable here, and eventually more inebriated.

The unexpected side effect of the left handed driving has cropped up in the oddest way for me: when navigating corridors at work. I, of course, move to the right to get out of their way. They move to their left, and so we are at an impasse until the polite Aussie moves out of my way before I realize I'm in the wrong.

Today I was bumped into in the CBD (which is like midtown) by a young man and he literally turned around and came back to take my hand and practically groveled for my forgiveness. Once I realized he wasn't going for my purse I was stunned by the effusiveness. I would be lucky to get even a brief apology in New York after such an encounter.

Another fun fact : Southern exposure just isn't the same down here, since that is the cold side and the North facing apartments get all the light.

So the question is, does all this backwardness lead to the politeness or does all the backwardness in the Northern hemisphere lead to the lack thereof?

Monday, May 2, 2011

Inspection a must

Today was my first day at work in this land down under. And as if that were not momentous enough, Obama got Osama. I was surprised to see most of the office glued to the TV watching our president give his speech. Can you remember the last time you were glued to the TV watching Julia Guillard speak? Yeah, exactly, look her up, she's the Aussie Prime Minister, she even got to go to the royal wedding last week, which means she's important.

I on the other hand am just a "new starter" and you know what that means - yes, days on the phone with Helpdesk. I'm proud to say I left with my windows laptop connected to the exchange server. But my desk phone is still stuck in an infinite reboot cycle and I could draw you the Cisco IP phone splash screen from memory (it's Java powered!). I can't get my mail on my blackberry and microsoft communicator doesn't know who I am.

All is not lost though, interpersonal skills still have a place in our virtual lives and I made introductions and I even remember 75% of the people I met. Turns out there is a big Aussie wide company party next week - a black tie one. Somehow cocktail dress did not make my list of things for the 4 suitcases I brought, so it is time to shop. Chapel street here I come!

The end of my day was an inspection of a South Yarra 1 bedroom, ground floor apartment. Turns out that ads claiming "inspection is a must" aren't just throwing out marketing hyperbole, it is required by law that tenants see the apartment before signing a lease. I learned this and much more from the Irish tenant who was sad to be returning to the UK. Turns out Melbourne is quite a fabulous place to live. And so far I agree!